Tommy Boyd Interview 31st October 2004

Written by The Shrine

Category: Tommy Boyd News

The Shrine Interviews Tommy Boyd

Asking Shrine visitors for their submissions, in October 2004, we held an exclusive Question and Answer session over email with Tommy Boyd himself.

The Interview

SHRINE QUESTION 1. To begin with, you’ve mentioned you are from a family of teachers, and that you started out as a teacher yourself. What motivated the change from teaching to entertaining?

TOMMY BOYD: Never really stopped teaching, I enjoy mentoring newer people who entering broadcasting or whatever, and putting forward ideas which get listeners/viewers thinking. When I taught in front of classes I found they liked to be amused/entertained in ten minute bursts, then you teach a few things, then amuse again, so I learned a bit about what keeps people's attention through that.

SHRINE QUESTION 2. Mark, Tom and Chris are very interested to know about your life in relation to books. They ask, respectively: What books have you written? Will you consider writing an autobiography? & What books would you recommend?

TOMMY BOYD: I've written some children's joke books, a collection of jokey stories for children, and a book about monsters, again for children, and primarily because I was approached. They aren't literature. Autobiographies seem for people who have finished, or are barely out of their twenties but haven't done anything of substance except be hugely famous. If I wrote my autobiography it would have to be dreadfully, painfully honest, so much so that I could only do it anonymously while I have family and friends, and there has never yet been an anonymous autobiography.

Best books I've read are:

• For young romantics: Le Grand Meaulnes by Alain Fournier.
• For children: Le Petit Prince by Saint Exupery
• For people who are convinced there's something else out there: The Boy Who Saw True Author: ?
• For those who believe their destiny is in their own hands: Shambhala by Chogyam Trungpa (very difficult).
• For everyone: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

SHRINE QUESTION 3. There was a time when you could be seen all week presenting on television in the late 80’s and early 90’s. In the last decade though, you’ve dominated the airwaves and have rarely been seen on the box. Was this a conscious and deliberate choice? And what are the differences in regards to the work you are doing and the way you feel about the two different mediums?

TOMMY BOYD: I did decide to try radio instead of TV. I was aged about 42 and part of it was wanting to get off telly before they started hinting I should. Plus I had started in radio, and my dad always said I was better at radio than telly.

The differences are profound if you get up close to the two. I might, for example, on TV say one day to camera "I believe that God spoke to me last night, and told me the meaning of my existence". And I would get people coming up to me in the street asking "Where did you get that shirt you had on telly today, I want to buy one like it for my boyfriend..." On radio I might host an hour long phone-in on whether shirt sleeves should be ironed with a crease or not (true topic from Talk Radio days) and people would comment that there was a curious depth to such a meaningless discussion....

SHRINE QUESTION 4. Martyn and Tony want to ask about censorship. Martyn asks: Why is radio so behind the times in terms of censorship within British media? And Tony: would you say that there is more freedom of expression on UK television than UK radio broadcasting? And generally, other than a few exceptions like your own show, do you think british radio plays it too safe?

TOMMY BOYD: These are all good questions. By the way I've always said that people should pay questioners to ask them these kind of things, because it clarifies the mind, and is even a bit therapuetic.

There isn't an active, defined code of censorship in broadcasting that I'm aware of. Individual stations, broadcasters, programme Heads etc have their own set of priorities which they adhere to and they are dictated by their needs for their output to be sucessful, in terms of ratings. Listeners and viewers let most of it wash over them, but there are enough with Traffic Warden Syndrome to write and agitate. Their letters have to be answered, their complaints examined, which takes time and effort, so the vast majority in broadcasting opt for the easy life: leave Jesus and Islam out of it, don't use the f word at all, show enough of pretty bodies to get audience, but not so much to get sackfulls of work. Curiously, newscasts contain more harrowing information and material than any Dennis Potter play, but escape their responsibility of self censorship because the Traffic Wardens think the modern world is a terrible place, and enjoy watching the horrors as they confirm their view.

SHRINE QUESTION 5. We’ve had many emails asking about your sacking from TalkSport. It seems rather unbelievable that you would be dismissed given just one comment by a caller. What actually happened? Had something been brewing for a while and this was a final straw? Can you talk us through what happened.

TOMMY BOYD: Kelvin doesn't like me, probably loathes me, pretty much simple as that. Shame because I actually admire lots of things about him, mainly his balls, although he is a bit cowardly with TalkSport.

The mechanics of the actual incident are roughly like this: I'd developed a large but loonyish audience for Wrestling on a Saturday night. I put on a live wrestling event at Crystal Palace, which Talksport let me plug on air. I set up a company, put up my own dough, didn't make a profit, but established that, done properly, there was probably a market for this kind of event. Kelvin's people were at the show, and impressed enough to ask me to grow it. Kelvin called me at home and puffed "Well done son.." down the blower. His Head Of Finance rang me and said "We need to take 50% of your company, just to be safe." I replied we neded to negotiate a bit, I needed a few bits of information, such as who was I partnered with; TalkSport, the Wireless group, Kelvin? The next day, on air, the caller came on pretending to be a huge fan of the freshly deceased Queen Mum. I reached over and starting reading e mails, secure in the knowledge that a QM fan was safe. Next thing I noticed a change in his tone of voice, realised he'd probably said something daft, but it had gone out. Talksport, as I understand, recieved one complaint from one listener. But tell you what I was really glad to move on because things were going nowhere with that lot.

SHRINE QUESTION 6. Ditlev asks: Of all the stations you've been at, what is the best station you have worked for? And which was/is your favourite show to host and favourite show host?

TOMMY BOYD: Always love where you are and what you are about to do next, and that is something I've been lucky enough to have in my system all my life. Therefore the best station I have ever worked for is the BBC in Brighton. I enjoyed hosting the afternoon shows at Talk Radio in which I was required to defend impossible views, because it was a great challenge, and very funny hearing callers who believed I believed the nonsense I was coming out with.

Danny Baker is the most talented broadcaster they haven't quite found the right home for yet. Jon Ross is funny too. Chris Evans is also a great lad on air.

SHRINE QUESTION 7. Colin would like to know about the weak arguments people call in with. What are the common aspects of a weak argument, and what criteria do you consider to be the basis for a great argument?

TOMMY BOYD: Most people think they know what they think, but they don't. They think having an opinion is their right, and they are nobody without one (or several). They also think you have to stick with the same opinion for life. And they don't check facts.

So, you are up against callers who have opinions they don't need, don't deserve and cannot support. Great arguers are like Judo experts, they let the momentum of the opponent defeat them. Most people will betray the weakness in their case quite quickly, and you just keep returning to their weakness, or factual flaw as if it demonstrates that their entire argument is equally weak or flawed.

SHRINE QUESTION 8. Rastaman would like to know if you have any plans to resurrect the human zoo on Southern Counties, or a variation of? If not, is it because you felt it was only perfect for Sunday night radio?

TOMMY BOYD: The Human Zoo depended on enough callers who were bad and enough who were good. About 80/20 ratio? So you waited for the next good call. Plus pondered on what you would do if it was your turn. I like to move forward always, so I'm waiting for the Son of Human Zoo, whatever that is...

SHRINE QUESTION 9. Matt Bullen asks about talk radio caricatures: not least the image of a rooftop skyline of eccentrics and poor sleepers being coddled by a warm but quietly bemused host. These images have at least a grain of truth and are usually affectionate, but sometimes don't find a whole lot of dignity in this kind of radio. How far do you go along with the caricatures, and how far do you find them a bit demoralizing?

TOMMY BOYD: Not certain I understand the question perfectly, so forgive me if I'm off beam. If you are referring to the idea that an audience needs to be pictured in order for a connection to occur, well I prefer the idea that we are each so different that's impossible. Age and sex are obvious dissimilarities, but it runs deeper, surely. People talk about the fact no two people have identical fingerprints or eye configurations. Those are petty differentials, but point you in a better direction. Every single human being has had a vastly different set of significant experiences, the forces which shape who we are.

And each of us finds ourselves housed in a sack of waterproof skin which needs us to push edible matter into a hole just below our sightline, which emerges next day. And each of us knows that the other bits inside the sack will give up on our spark of awareness one day and it'll fade to black. It's a bit lonely being a human, and a bit frightening. Those are the only common things I think matter, the rest are indeed a bit demoralising.

SHRINE QUESTION 10. Keith says: You are one of the few UK radio hosts who appears to have a 'cult' following. What do you think of your fans? And have you ever had any uncomfortable encounters with any obsessive fans?

TOMMY BOYD: Never had any trouble with anybody touch wood. I very much appreciate the fact that my broadcasting seems to have struck a chord with some people, most who track my efforts seem bright and kind, and those are the two things to keep aware of. I did have a stalker, but now we're good friends.

SHRINE QUESTION 11. On that note, Matthew Parker would like to know about your contact with the fans outside of the radio: Do you still have an interest in webcasting & what became of your previous venture? And any plans for resurrecting a website of your own?

TOMMY BOYD: I had high hopes internet broadcasting would be a viable partner to radio, but the server problem meant we couldn't nail a big enough audience to make waves. Freeserve were the boss, and they wanted it to work for commercial reasons, which was reasonable. Basically, if you had twenty listeners logged on and another joined, the first listener who had logged on got jocked off by the syatem. We toyed with people paying a subscription, but you needed to offer a truly essential output to justify that, and I wasn't convinced we could create that. One day, when I can, perhaps, we'll have a go at doing something on the net again, something which simply feels right.

SHRINE QUESTION 12. Do any callers stick in your mind? Undoubtedly, Simon from Hampshire is one of the most notorious callers ever to grace your show. What are your thoughts on Simon: a well crafted fictional creation or a genuine caller? And how easy is it to know when a caller is going to be a good contributor?

TOMMY BOYD: Caller who comes to mind was the first caller on a Talk Radio hour which was about "What did you do last night?" It was intended to be partly a pop at colleagues who accused us of being empty, ie not proper radio. But this man came on and talked us through every minute of his evening, from arriving home with his dog, who he was allowed to take to work, and opening his front door with his key while taking his boots off on the pavement by stepping on his dog's lead with the foot he wasn't taking a boot off, then stepping on the lead with the foot that had the bootlaces undone ready to take off, while he undid the other boot.

He talked us through his evening with such a balance of precision and insight that we became him, it was a radio version of Ullyses (?) the Joyce tome about a single day. It was art.

Simon was pretty good, I believe he was an acting student, but I never wanted to know the truth, only guess like other listeners.

All callers are pretty good, they've been vetted by an operator, the only ones you don't want are nothingy ones. Sometimes you get a real "lulu" and away we all go!

SHRINE QUESTION 13. Neil Barrett submits: you have strong views on racism so i was wondering what you thought of parties like the BNP and National Front?

TOMMY BOYD: Frightened. They are frightened of lots of things especially bigger men, more succesful people, losing their jobs and losing their women. They are wounded too, by lack of self-esteem.

And after the serious nature of that last question, we’ll finish on a couple of lighter ones.

SHRINE QUESTION 14. Anne from North Devon would like to know what five people who would make up the ultimate dinner party guests?

TOMMY BOYD: Actually, don't enjoy dinner parties, but I asume this is a wish come-true thing so: I love parties.

I'd like to see Bill Clinton as barman, Michelle Pfieffer as the person in front of me in the bathroom queue, Hitler as hatcheck.

Most of all, since it's wish come true, I'd like to see Muhammed Ali up as the DJ, restored to his articulate and elastic best, teaching us to dance like we're not honkies and be free and stuff.

SHRINE QUESTION 15. We’ll finish with a guy who claims to be the infamous Scooby Doo caller. He asks: Timmy Mallet saved someone from drowning a few years ago; if Tommy saw Timmy Mallet drowning, would he save him? & How does Tommy feel about CITV axing him as a presenter in 1993 and replacing him with the animated CITV caterpillar?

TOMMY BOYD: Never noticed the caterpiller, sorry.

I would only save Mallet from drowning if he promised not to tell the Scooby Doo caller that I can't walk on water.

Huge thanks to Tommy Boyd, and all our contributors, for a terrific interview

Created on October 31, 2004